Toughness is taught to kids from an early age. Young boys and girls are encouraged to be tough as a way to face their social and academic challenges. Adults of any age are constantly reminded that toughness is what will make them more resilient and competitive in their professional and personal life. No one wants a softie. People don’t respect weakness. Be tough and show your strength. Do these, and you will find the success you are seeking.
Many who follow such methods try to construct an impenetrable bubble they could carry around as a shield against the world. The effects of this practice go both ways, and the resulting isolation provides a certain level of protection for the person. It also creates a slick buffer that limits communication with others and makes the person inside the bubble hard to reach. Another product of this practice is the development of a fat ego with all its perks for some people.
Then there is a different lesson that is taught to kids – How to Play Nice. The two lessons, play nice and be tough, are difficult to combine. The practice of the first is sometimes generated by fear and is designed to separate the person from their surroundings and protect them from undesired influences and outcomes. The practice of the second is geared to attract and engage others, and form a familial network. The two lessons demonstrate opposite behavioral traits, but they are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Practicing situational awareness, paying attention to details, and having healthy patience can allow one to use these to great advantage.
No one wants to become vulnerable or be hurt. Whether these behaviors are the result of an instinct or a calculated choice, it is best to keep continuous observation and reflection of them. Try to not let important elements of your life spin out of control. Pay attention to your behavior and to the way others react to you. Realize your hard and soft parts and work to maintain a good balance of them. Remember, rigid bodies tend to break sooner than softer ones. Stay intact.