Going to places together and enjoying activities with a loved one, a friend, or other companions, is the preferred way for most people to do things. We go to the movies, dine, travel, play – the list is endless. Most of us prefer to do these things with others because we are social creatures and for the emotional gain we enjoy by sharing the activity with a person we have an emotional connection with. We can also reflect on the experience afterward and gain again from the other person’s enjoyment. These shared memories and experiences deepen the emotional bond we have with each other and form links that strengthen our relationship and confidence in it.
And then there are those times and events that test those bonds, that strength, and confidence. Outside stresses, disappointments, and trajectories make us peel away from each other and feel alone. The reasons are plentiful and we have all suffered through situations like that in some form. Some bonds break quickly and are easy to notice, others dissolve over time and may be harder to detect. In either case, no one should remain static in a bad situation. Waiting it out in the hope the troubles will correct themselves is a course taken by too many, and is akin to letting your hands off the steering wheel when the car spins out of control.
When your person acts differently in your presence. When activities you enjoy together cease from happening. When you wonder why it feels different, uncomfortable, to be with that person. Those are the time to act. Taking responsibility and proactively trying to heal the rift can take many forms: talking to a trusted friend or colleague, seeking individual and couples’ therapy, receiving life coaching, going to support group meetings, and asking for guidance from wise elders are some of the paths one could take to address this. Work to find out who or what is the cause for the problem and address it. Waiting around for a better day only wastes away time and allows the problem to rot worse. Happiness and success do not happen on their own – they are the fruits of hard labor and dedication to a cause. At the end of the day, you will either salvage the relationship or know that you lost it. Either way, it will not just happen to you – you will be behind the wheel all the way through.